Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around

right..so its F*****ship day!
why i use the asterisks?? go figure.
and is that the spelling of asterics??
or is it asterix? no that's a comic strip! talking of comic strips...u guys saw my previous one...dintcha?? and from the highly POSITIVE feedback that i got...i decided to make ANOTHER one...for my dear dear Calvin.

anyway...
i have viral fever everyone....and i had 102 degrees...101 degrees temperature last night and when i talk..i sound like Marilyn Manson..not that i mind though?
so its f'ship day and my younger sister's friends came over and bought her those lil stoopid bands of different colors???
are they insane or are they insane...like these Archie's ppl charge u 70 bucks for one sickly lousy band and my sister, whose in 7th grade by the way has like 15 "best friends"???
are u kiddin me?
and she wants to buy one for all? and mom wont say anything!!! right..talking of spoiling kids...!
i was always a sensible kid..i never did any of this crap and i expected my lil sis to get that sensibility ..from the same genes or something?? she even bought a copy of deathly hallows...!!
WHY???
we already have lame friends who do buy these things...anyone heard of BORROWING books??? and why are libraries there for crying out loud???
without soundin too vindictive ill just say...we're havin trouble here..too many ppl losing their minds!

i have also discovered that i don like nice ppl a lot..simply becz u cant do anything with them....i mean they are nice so they'll be nice to u and then u cant do anything abt it!! even if ure being a complete pest..they'll still be nice!! which makes YOU feel like a jerk!!!
get me???
ima go n check my temperature now and get some rest..i'm sick remeber??

while you guys go n check out za new graffiti!
turns out..bill watterson actually seems to like it..[ got an angelic msg from him in my dreams]..so that's Calvin performing on hard rock for y'all.
i leave it on u to guess which artist is playing on the box!
hint: led zep?




DISCLAIMER: I'm in a bad mood cz I'm sick and my sister is a hard core spendthrift and my parents don seem to mind that at all. we're having a pool party this weekend where she'll blow away thousands again. like that???
oh basically...I'm just sick n cranky. sorry folks but i just like spreading it around!!
:P
cheers!

Reality continues to ruin my life

right!this was supposed to be trashy and was made for revenge....turns out i can draw a bit with the mouse...
this is a graffiti i made on facebook..ended up likin it so much..wanted all of u to see it!
plus ..its CALVIN!!
its got to be good! no matter how i mess it up!

TADA!!
"sweet revenge"


so this is what i feel now:
calvin = moi

Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

:D
i know.
i know!

Single minded to the point of Recklessness

Maverick:" Too close for missles, I'm switching to guns".

have u ever scared yourself? no really, thats the question...like have u ever really scared you?
sometimes...we become so passionate about something that we start scaring ourselves...with our obsessiveness. i feel nothing good ever came out of normal efforts...if u want soemthing so hard...so bad ...u gotta be obsessed with it!
of late..i have realised that when i do get into somethin like really hard core! i start scarin myself...u know that feelin..
u eat with it. u sleep with it. u do everything with it in mind! i mean single minded to the point of recklessness!
what scares me is...what if THAT soemthin i desire so much leaves me feelin empty inside? i mean i've been here before. have u ever had this strong urge about somethin and then after havin it in ur hands ..u just let it slip away?
that feelin of emptiness...of not knowin what happened and not wanting to either?

i may not be makin the least sense to you people but its a serious concern for me. To me ..life is these straight words...want somethin.go get it.period.
but what after that?
what after u have that somethin? what do u do with it? what if its NOT what u wanted?? what if somethin that was supposed to leave u brimming with joy leaves u empty and devastated? well...devastated is a harsh word..i shud have thought before employin it!

if u've ever been utterly single minded abt soemthin...you'll realise u get this extreme power ...this un beating un- relenting strength inside...that makes u worthy of movin any mountain!!
when u're so indulged into somethin....the gravity of teh situation dawns on u! and all the what -ifs come into picture!
the only problem with being so immersed into things is....when u see them crashing down in front of u..when u see everythin fallin apart right under ur nose....and u cant help it! have u ever built a sand castle really fervently and with all your heart in it? and then have u seen the waves coming down on it and destryoing everything? THAT is what i'm talkin abt!

sometimes the vastness of somethin scares u...u yourself ..your own 'obsession and will' can scare u..its like the sky or maybe the water....imagine urself in teh middle of the ocean in the middle of the night with water everywhere...black water..and nowhere to go...
sometimes u really have no where to go...u cant run away from urself? and thats exactly what u want to do... u wanna escape ur thoughts! and ur own will.

anyway..of late i've been feelin thirsty all the time...wonder what it is...wonder what my system is upto? scary...eh?? :P

by the way i came to know yesterday what they do in the american slaughter houses....they take the lambs and all thsoe animals u guys love eating ....put them in boilin hot water till the time they're almost dead and then pull them out and lay them on the aseembly lines where they lie writhing in pain for a good 15 minutes and after the creatures are dead ...they're sent out to the exotic hotels where u dig a hole into ur pockets to pay for the check!
this is all it takes to make me stay off non veg forever. think abt this people! you cant do this to fellow earth in habitants. if thsi is what they do in america...i don even have teh courage to find out what happens in india!
its an issue. stop eatin it. its killin people!

passin thought:
“It is the calm and silent water that drowns a man”
-african proverb

The way i see it...

its been a harsh day..i got up in the morning with all the energy of a beaten up horse...
man! this migraine thing is killing me..if only they would research some medicine for migraine rather than burning brain fuel over clones and stem cells!
why...pray why i ask...is it necessary to have clones?? i mean anyway...one person is enough to bore the hell out of people around him,...we don want more of 'em sticking around...
bah! so then i thought...let me switch on this TV which i haven't seen in ages.
ages=a week by the way, and 10 minutes into watching it...i found myself annoyed already so i thought to myself..I'm better off without this...

as i was browsing through Sunday times the past weekend..i realised that they had removed the quotable quotes section from the paper...i looked around frantically ...trying to find it somewhere....on some page..but all my eyes met with were dumb portrayals of supposedly happening news...and all the crime shit! there was a full length article by shobha de..on how bipasha basu had got a boob job done!!!
do we wanna read this?? isn't 'Delhi times' a bigger pest already! what a pain...
let me explain this ....
a few years ago..the times of India used to be my object of affection....just ..for the simple reason that it was so innovative and so creative...i just had to -had to read it before i even brushed! then the catastrophic makeover happened...."he & she" [the Sunday magazine] changed to "times life!" which is nothing but a shitty glossy advertisement- filled magazine ! i hated it, but i remained calm!

those of u who were avid readers would recollect...that earlier the mind over matter section used to have short stories from across the world..by great acknowledged authors as well as worthy readers who were even more worthy contributors....they were enlightening and delightful reads...then came Mr. deepak chopra!!! boom! it all became a commercialised zen page!! they call THAT zen????
does that guy even know what being un materialistic is all about?? he ruined it! deepak chopra = evil devil.
i survived that too.i mean i still had speaking tree and swaminomics.
recently when shashi tharoor started his column...i was beyond myself with glee.
i love this guy! and getting to read his thoughts and expressions on a weekly basis..cudnt have been better! i exclaimed:
"right! so finally someone knocked some sense into these people! wow!"
but then that was just a momentary phase of being sensible i guess...
they removed quotable quotes this weekend!!!
I'm sure its some commercial gimmick by that deepak-moron-chopra! he must be starting another "interactive " column! bullshit!

i long for the days when Sunday times used to be so enthralling and pious! i never liked the weekday papers anyway...but the Sunday one was like worth keeping for years..i still have torn articles from teh wise and soulful yesteryears[so i would like to call them]. now its just money -fortune-commercialisation.

why is 'sinking into mediocrity' not a concern for them? why cant they realise that writing is one aspect of art which, if gets over shadowed by commercial gains...gets destroyed...or for that matter..all realms of art.
you have to conserve the sanctity of it....its something like the innocence of a 12 year old girl...if its lost ..its lost forever...
if i could just make myself audible to these jackasses...i would make them understand what they're losing ...for starters..I'm not reading it now.
I'm just not.I'm just so done with it.
art ain't art if it loses its soul.only if they would listen.
*sigh*

i also made an important discovery today....the b block park in my sector where i haven't been before is like a paradise found! its like the garden in the movie notting hill! the benches call on me...they beckon me to come and read there...i have always had a fascination with park benches...the wrought iron ones with the smooth curved edges or the wooden ones with the carved sides...they have always meant serenity to me...something about them is just so attractive..they are so still and have been like that for years...have had old people rest on them...homeless beggars sleep on them...tired joggers relax on them love lorn idiots wait on them[ right okay..love lorn sweethearts..okay now?] ...

i have decided that whenever i get time..I'm gonna take a book and curl up on one of those beauties and pause for a moment to absorb all the stillness of the place..
taking it all and not- missing- a -moment!

"the object of my affection"


this is why i love lance armstrong:
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

(photo courtesy:anna)

Contentment Seeketh

"...My salad days, When I was green in judgment, cold in blood..." - William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra

hmmm...as i see it...im sittin here..entirely and totally displeased.
umm..no please dont get any ideas why..i don like it when people assume what i'm gonna say..cz its so hopelessly wrong the whole time....
i have discovered that life is the most impossible thing to handle. and contentment the hardest to sought.
right. one moment something happens to u ...and then u swear to god u will not let it happen again..and then u tell yourself that it wont happen if u don't let it happen...and then eventually it does happen and the whole point is lost.
what I'm talking might sound so excessively pointless ...since i cannot explicitly talk abt it..but the crux of the matter is :its a tough thing just to remain happy!

i wonder with all the wondering cells in my being as to why the basic requisite of our existence and the most elementary need of mankind ,"happiness" is so hard to seek?
when we take upon paths of revenge or similar stuff...are we destroying ourselves or are we liberating ourselves??
why are the hardest battles we fight against the people we love the most...when its should be with our hard sworn enemies?
why has the world been at war since i dono how many centuries when all everyone desires is peace?? okay...this is going to the next level.
but all i have been able to figure out is that wats basic is the most strenuous to achieve!
alright this was just another lame attempt at another lame personal post tryin to get the ambiguity out of the scene but hell! i can afford to be goddamn held up cz this godforsaken is supposed to be my blog!

though i have sent a number of questions into the void right now[ if u guys know any of them..please feel free to enlighten the rest of human race] but i would hold the followin facts to be self evident ..from now on [sorry for stealin ur words mr.jefferson....]

ah...lets not make this formal..but i want everyone to know what i took 17 yrs to figure out:
1.i have discovered that the more u try to do something..the more it doesn't happen.
2.i have figured out that the best way to remain happy is to not seek happiness.
3.i have discovered that its best to be patient .patience srslee is the utmost virtuous attribute.
4.i have found out that the only way i can stay un affected is by not letting it affect me[ what...no what did i say...so u see...I've lost it already]
5.i have begun to realise that when they say "everything in life happens for a reason "...they really mean it.
6.i have discovered that Kurt Cobain was right when he said :
"I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head."
7. i have realised that life is not gonna be the same forever...
8. i have realised that what I'm realising right now will soon be forgotten by me and i will revert back to what i was up to [ thats y i blog silly]
9. but i also know that deep inside i will prevent it from happening this time.[who am i foolin?]
10. i 've realised that its always better to be cold and forgiving rather than attached and hung upon.
11. i have realised that this post is what happens to me when I'm thinking a lot.
12.i have realised that basically we should just learn one thing in life...
"to let go".
13. i have realised that when u hit some particular button accidentally the whole post vanishes... but thanks to blogger...its auto saved.[alright this din take 17 yrs!]
14.i have realised that without the swings in life..it would be sad and pointless and risk free ...but wud be like a flat road to nowhere.
15. i have realised that one small effort in the rigtht direction can make a herculean difference to all the wrong ones .


well...i think a lot and introspection can be injurious to health.
by the way...I'm the type of person who will never accept the fact that a movie/song/writer/book is good till i cannot testify for it myself...so when i saw the fast and the furious today...i told myself ...people CAN make sense sometimes.


PS notice the world of difference that one yellow happy face makes to the hundreds of blue sullen ones. see what i mean??

PPS I'm gonna avoid using caps so often from now on..cz as it turns out...it can annoy people!
:)
take care everyone.




passing thought:
"its unbelievable how things change in a minute"
.the doors