"The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster."
This poem by Elizabeth Bishop has always held its deep meaning to me. its like one of
those poems you'd want to be engraved on your epitaph or something.
actually when i think ov it, i wouldn't want it really.
i mean , i don wanna die such a sad person. I'd want an army ov grandchildren crying their asses off when i die.
And i want to die beautifully. I should win the award for the most beautiful corpse ever. this does not mean i wanna die young, it just means i wanna stay beautiful when I'm old.
I've always found old beauty more intriguing than young.
I mean there's always something exotic about beautiful old ladies, which is non existent in the young ones. I especially have this thing for the laugh lines, the creases you get at the edge ov your eyes due to years of them folding up when you laugh . them creases say so much, even when they're silent.
So, today i cleaned up the clutter in my room , it was becoming a huge mess with books all over the place. i hate throwing away books, i refuse to give away; even the small sketch books i have, the ones where I've drawn those brown hills and snow covered houses and painted them with camlin crayons.
i never throw away things.
today i realised that I've got almost 100 kgs of books n registers from 11th n 12th alone. its not even funny. when you have science as your senior year subjects, it SHOWS!
I decided to give them all away becz they are really of no use to me, and frankly, eleventh and twelfth grade better be forgot.
There is nothing cute about registers having yellow pages filled with physics derivations and notebooks with biology diagrams all across the pages.
don't even mention chemistry, organic sucked my blood. now when i think ov it, i really liked in-organic though i always complained what morons Morrison-Boyd are.
As i piled everything up and was gonna tell my servant to take it away, i gave it one last glance and suddenly it all came flashing back. Its so difficult to let go of books. they like define us, they make us what we are. they define that period. that time we went through.
I never keep diaries. there is something unbearably sad about diaries and journals.
or maybe they're just not my thing.
I hate nostalgia too. i would do anything to avoid the grim nostalgic feelings.
William Shakespeare says:"Absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment."
whatev dude. but i hate it.
As i bid farewell to two years of mutual love, i decided to take a parting shot, here be a pic of my lovely little lumps of books.
love them to pieces.
if any ov yoo are wondering why i haven't been writing, here's the answer. I'm dead busy and i don feel like blogging too much anyway. I've become a lazy baby. :)
my bad.
Having tons of application work to do also helps. My school counselor is a scary mofo.period.
anyhoo, all's well in my part ov the world.
take care ov yoo, so long amigos.
11 comments:
Organic is good. Morrison-Boyd even better :P Nevertheless, that is a massive amount of books/notebooks you have accumulated. And yeah, it does take courage to throw them away. It's emotional. Freaky.
You just cant see yourself getting attached to something, can you?
A long post for one that says "I reluctantly threw my books away".
I think what makes women...young or old....beautiful is who they are. You talked about those creases made from smiling. Those were made because those women new joy and were secure and content in who they were and the life around them.
You want to die beautiful, be a beautiful person on the inside. they will see it on the outside, I promise :)
before i say anythin else,
inworship has given a beautiful comment!
Well, overall, an interesting read... had that personal touch that i found missing in some of the previous posts... u've written about stuff i've though about a lot myself... i still have my class 9 exam papers...i too have trouble letting go of stuff in the real world... the books look fab, and if u haven't thrown 'em yet, keep that english book lying at the top!lol....
school life rocked man... getting nostalgic again...
p.s. quoting something with regard to what u've written about death..its by J.B.S. Haldane
"Supplementary to my requirements of life are my requirements of death. From all the death's that have been recorded, i find Socrates death most enviable. He died at the age of 70, fully in control of his mental faculties...having accomplished all that he could do..he died for his convictions..and he died laughing. If i can achieve even two of these, I would consider myself lucky. And though I believe my friends may lament me, I trust that they will not pity me"
Amen.
It is easy to die laughing like a madman, innit.
To know the moment of your death and grin when it comes, even if you accomplished nothing - now that's commendable.
Of course, someone who just happened to die when he was laughing is just unfortunate.
*listenin intently*
ah... should have clarified, as done by our teacher, the two outta 3 things he is referring to are the things preceding the laughing bit....
but with regard to laughing at the deathbed, i fondly recall those line of RDB...
"I always believed there were two kinds of men. One, who go to their death screaming and the other, who go to their death in silence. And then I met the third kind...."
you have been blogrolled :]
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