Papa :*

Have you ever really missed someone when they're right there with you?
Its a funny feeling, rather gripping actually.
Okay so the thing is , I share a very silent relationship with my dad, well I'm gonna say papa cz that's what I call him.
Anyway, so papa and I have always had a weird relationship. I am like the most affectionate person you can ever meet, I mean all day long, I keep hugging and pecking my grandfolks, mum and the rest of the clan.
But with dad, its sorta different, its the strange-nice-not bad-different.
I always think before I do something with him. Now that just sounds awfully weird, but well, you get the picture.
One thing about my papa is , he buys me loads and loads and loads of books, like I cant get him to buy me , say, a pair of stilettos that cost like 3 grand, but books, he'll buy me 10 grand worth of them damn right away.
I've kinder always respected him for that, the fact that he has always positively encouraged me and my sisters to be intellectuals and not just pretty faces. In fact I love him for that, honor him for that.
Its a saying, i believe, that theres nothing as sacred as honor, I couldn't have thought of anything more true.

Its 2 am here, and for some reason, me and papa cant sleeep. He's watching some shark program outside, shark files most prolly. He never gets tired of watching sharks, and that , I have inherited from him. Its like we both get glued to the television whenever one of them shark things are on air. This shark tribe one is on right now I guess. Shite,I digress.
So I cant sleep because , well, I'm an insomniac but papa's hell tired but still up.
I do not know why but I have this overwhelming feeling in me right now which is almost flooding me from inside, its overpowering. I feel this deep sense of attachment to him, this intense bond.
Like I can see him from here, he's right in front of my eyes, but I cant seem to get enough.
I feel like crying, even. God, this is crazy, really.
I guess this is what they call 'blood'.
i'm his blood, his flesh, his bones.
Today mom was telling me I have my papa's jawline. Isn't it weird, the way we look like our parents? I mean, like 50 years later I might look at myself in the mirror and stare at my jawline and think of my papa. Not that I would need a reason but still.
and at that moment, I'm sure I 'd be brimming with this same feeling, this feeling of immense love and endearment! I feel like hugging him so so much.
Damm these papas and mamas, they;re one helluva sweet people, they do anything for you, sell themselves for you, just to see you happy.
How could you ever ever repay something like that?

If mom was awake, this outpour would have happened there, but I guess it was destined for me to write my blog tonight.
I thought it had long died.
I'm listening to Blowin' in the wind, and its sorta comforting me, I need something to pacify me right now, this love is killing me.
Haha , what was that song, Love will tear us apart?? Ya?
Oh yea, Damm right!!

G'night people.