wordless friday

is there anythin called a wordless day??
today is the first occasion in a number of days that i feel that i have nothin to write..
ordinarily I'm beaming with ideas...

over time..this writin thing has transformed for me from a leisure pursuit to an obsession to a thing that lets me detach..lets me liberate..lets me stress out...
after a long day...i get back home..n even before i eat or carry on my mundane chores..i write.
talkin of long days...today i had a long but accomplished one.
from a good test to an even better essay..
my essay was read out aloud n appreciated...
i love appreciation ..i thrive on it..

as a kid..i was always this girl who got everythin right!
school prefect...debate team prez...choir leader...dance troupe member..swimming club member...you name it!!
things changed in high school though
i was the perennial topper till tenth...somethin silly got to me in eleventh n twelfth grades..im never gonna be able to forgive myself for lettin under-achievements rule me out in the two yrs...
though its painfully self humiliating to accept all this in public but then thats the way i am... self critical to the core.
i am earnestly my most fervent critique.
anyway..
so today..i had THAT feelin again..
the greatest feeling is to be a winner..
the enthralling "world at your feet" thing u feel after u've acheived some feat can never be compensated by anythin else...its irreplaceable...

the thing abt being a winner is...it spoils u..
u crave for that brilliant feelin to which u were witness...and it stays with u forever..that feelin needs to be replicated...u want it back!
thats wat happened today...was like a whiff of nostalgia..
somethin i craved for...
i want it all back!
every goddamn bit of it!!

this excerpt from LOTR puts my thoughts to words accurately:

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king. "

and people ask me why i love lotr?
well..precisely my point.

PS funny how ive written so much when i feel I'm wordless today!
:D
PPS the picture here symbolises the "pull up ur socks" spirit!
want somethin, go get it. period.

addictive

the strange thing about writing a blog or journal or sorts is that its addictive..
the moment some idea strikes u ..u just wanna write abt it
THAT. VERY . MOMENT.

its like u have this sick urge wen u just wanna grab hold of the keyboard n write it out!

so today i was in my math class...was just giving a practice test..fillin out circles with 2B pencils n chkin out some university stuff
wen suddenly i had this strong urge to write my journal
i was like fighting inside...
" do your paper..u'll fuckin ruin it"
"CONCENTRATE"
"F O C U S"

but no!!!
i guess udit 's right..i really need to start meditation!!

bah hell..
so i asked this girl sitting next to me to give a rough sheet n i started scribbling stuff right there...
this guy in my class thought that I'm writin in my PERSONAL DIARY about HIM!!!
puhhlease...first thing's first..i don't do personal diaries..i think its too sissy!!
n second:
GIMME A BREAK!
he thot i have like a crush on him..n I'm too shy to say somethin so I'm pourin my feelings out this way!!! :o:O
GIMME A BREAK AGAIN!

anyway...
you don't want to know how i did on that test..trust me!!
but i got to know that this damn thing is soooo mind bogglingly ADDICTIVE!!
woof!!!

PS for those who are wondering where that journal entry is..i lost the ppr...n then i forgot abt it..will write it again ..sometime.

PPS got the my English test paper back today!!
i did well
45/60
not bad.
since yesterday i got 38 :(
have another one tomorrow
hafta cross 50.
period.

for that I'll have to get my ass outta here n slog!!
so long!