Friday, May 11, 2007

wordless friday

is there anythin called a wordless day??
today is the first occasion in a number of days that i feel that i have nothin to write..
ordinarily I'm beaming with ideas...

over time..this writin thing has transformed for me from a leisure pursuit to an obsession to a thing that lets me detach..lets me liberate..lets me stress out...
after a long day...i get back home..n even before i eat or carry on my mundane chores..i write.
talkin of long days...today i had a long but accomplished one.
from a good test to an even better essay..
my essay was read out aloud n appreciated...
i love appreciation ..i thrive on it..

as a kid..i was always this girl who got everythin right!
school prefect...debate team prez...choir leader...dance troupe member..swimming club member...you name it!!
things changed in high school though
i was the perennial topper till tenth...somethin silly got to me in eleventh n twelfth grades..im never gonna be able to forgive myself for lettin under-achievements rule me out in the two yrs...
though its painfully self humiliating to accept all this in public but then thats the way i am... self critical to the core.
i am earnestly my most fervent critique.
anyway..
so today..i had THAT feelin again..
the greatest feeling is to be a winner..
the enthralling "world at your feet" thing u feel after u've acheived some feat can never be compensated by anythin else...its irreplaceable...

the thing abt being a winner is...it spoils u..
u crave for that brilliant feelin to which u were witness...and it stays with u forever..that feelin needs to be replicated...u want it back!
thats wat happened today...was like a whiff of nostalgia..
somethin i craved for...
i want it all back!
every goddamn bit of it!!

this excerpt from LOTR puts my thoughts to words accurately:

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king. "


and people ask me why i love lotr?
well..precisely my point.

PS funny how ive written so much when i feel I'm wordless today!
:D
PPS the picture here symbolises the "pull up ur socks" spirit!
want somethin, go get it. period.



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"the thing abt being a winner is...it spoils u..
u crave for that brilliant feelin to which u were witness...and it stays with u forever..that feelin needs to be replicated...u want it back!"
awfully true

UDit said...

nice! well put really.... but i guess that is what makes toppers crave and strive for greater success even after attaining success, and it is somethin i have also felt, witnessed, succumbed to and attained and so on in some form....

Dhruv said...

I know how it feels (I believe this is from "Sympathy" by Paul Lawrence Dunbar), but in a slightly different way, as I've been an underachiever all my life, until I entered class 11.
But I think success is somewhat overrated and tends to be valued for the sake of acknowledgment and recognition rather than a sense of personal satisfaction and achievement - and this is kind of sad.
P.S. The LOTR poem (if it can be called a poem) is simply brilliant.

Anu said...

i dont knwo abt the "sympathy" thing..song or book..watev it is..