its not weird.its pure.

i adore emerald green ink.
more so when its freshly out from the pen...the shining
scintillating wet emerald green ink on paper surface makes the world go round
for me! its a pity that most of us prefer royal blue...which is again a perfectly
respectable color and acquires the same affection which i bestow on emerald green.
but again royal blue will be royal blue and can never possibly even begin to resemble
emerald green and i have something for emerald green so i am negatively partial to royal blue....before i begin to sound like a maniac ..let me explain the reason De etre for this extremely unusual "ink -love " today.

well....the past couple of weeks have been utterly dry as far as writing is concerned,i have written more than 3 posts but found none suitable enough for this space. random they were but greatly profound .as always.[flattery works for me] :P but they were too intense ..and too revealing which is perhaps the most characteristic trait of my writing after digression that is.

today i decided to spend my day at the attic..this teeny tiny wooden room where all ur wrecked an ol stuff lies...as i was laying my 12Th grade books to rest ...i found myself scheming though really antique things..like my juniors school diaries...
sketch pens..drawing scrapbooks...u know the ones were uve just filled the pages with circles....
if u've ever been to a beginners' drawing lesson..like in kindergarten or something..u will perhaps recollect that the first thing they make u do is draw circles...innumerable number of circles...basically done to perfect the art of drawing round figures....then, it definitely was a pain in the neck..like:
" dude!! when do i get to actually do something meaningful here?"
but now it seems so cute and lovable..really.loverly.
:)
i even saw stacks of pencil cases!! i was obsessive about collecting them! i had every design possibly available in the market! i remember once in 3rd grade this particularly gaudish girl in my class got this daisy duck pencil box to school..i approached her and interrogated her about the source of this exquisite piece of tin art! she answered in the most commonplace and ridiculous manner
" someone gifted it to me"
gimme a break!!
whats with people...if they don't wanna tell u where they got something from y cant they use some other line than the stereotypical gift one!!!
oh it grosses me out!! big time!
eventually i pestered my mom to search the entire delhi and buy it for me!! i just had to have it! [spoilt. i know]

i don't want u to think of this as some stupid nostalgic dead "i miss those days " post..here I'm just trying to profess my love for ..well.."stationery"
..anything..from notebooks..diaries..pencils..felt tip pens..scrapbooks...calligraphy stuff..pencils[yep i mentioned it twice..er..u wont get it]

umm..I've always been this lover of sorts more like some connoisseur of pencils...even small notebooks...I've always preferred em over long rusty registers...i have this fetish for writing on four lined notebooks..i find something irresistible abt them....i literally broke down in tears when my mom snatched away my 4 lined notebooks from me telling me to grow up..they are maybe the reason for my fabulous handwriting! :D
and aND AND wrapping paper!
ah!its such an indulgence...i can never refrain myself from buying wrapping paper! its all over the place..brown ones...printed ones...hand made ones..oh and gave u ever written on a hand made paper..the rough surface brushes the graphite away blunting it quite soon..the effect is pure perfection!! i used to even paint my own wrappin papers..and they were some success! every bday party i uesd to go to...i used to be at the recieving end of truckloads of compliments from all the uncles and aunties!!
:D :D

then the yellow ruffled pages of parchment paper!! ooo...heaven!!! and the smell of old books..i act a lil queer around em..i mean my dad used to freak out when he used to catch me in my room with an old book in hand digging my head inside it trying to inhale every possible breath intensely full with that fragrance...it used to drive him nuts and it used to make me soooo happy! another smell i greatly loved was the smell of pastel chalks..the Faber castell ones...aah!!! like if my mom got me a new set i would spend hours on end sniffing it!! it really drew my grandpa suspicious as to whether i was a reincarnation of a dog!
:(
;)
u know its like i just connect to such stuff...as i grew up..it translated into writing and reading..but the passion of being near such things has grew into an obsession..its my life..reading writin..drawing..colorin..i actually never used to sharpen my pencils back in my early years...i used to always chisel them with a blade..there is this aesthetic beauty to a chiseled pencil which a sharpened one lacks..it just cant be the same....never!

on my 11Th birthday..i asked my mom to get me a pack of charcoal pencils..no din sniff them but from there charcoal and me en trailed upon a never ending labor of love..not many people know but i am a skilled charcoal sketch artist! hehe..cut the skilled part out! :)
in junior school i got so obsessed with charcoal pencils that i refused to write with pens even on exam days ..which led me into deep trouble..but its unfair!! y cant a kid at least have the liberty to write with whatever they want??
elder people suck!!! :x

I'm happy sat wants us to use 2B pencils..it was a sheer delight to write my essay! the "10" is an electrifying testament testifyin the fact that people do well at jobs they delight in!! ;)
sometimes i feel like I'm some philosophical wizard type person stuck in here..i should have taken birth in the feather pens and parchment rolls era!! no srslee....i should have.
as a matter of fact...i just took to writing and reading as easily as a fish to a pond.
am i born to be a writer??
my dad breaks into his usual grunting laugh whenever i mention this!
he says" no dahlin..u're gonna end up being a stationary retailer"
RUDE!!
i fervently protest!!

u don really know where u'll land up..
u need to recognise what ure made of! what ure born to do? what are u incomplete without??
not that i am some wizard at this... but i see my self finding myself !
saw good will hunting today..and i couldn't agree more:

Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.
Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano?
Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fen way, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.

u just need to be able to do it.
effortlessly.


PS velvety wrappin papers...I'm OBSESSED!!