Easy pleasures

Hello everyone, it was a holiday today in my part of the world. its a festival actually , which i do not get to celebrate cz i don have a brother. but i hardly care. i get a break which is good enuff!
so what i did was, i actually decided to go n see what these guys do at this 'therapy place' i've been hearing about since forever. actually its sort of like a secluded -lil- trees -everywhere-dwelling where old people live and AND have a marvellous time!

I've always felt a lot for old people , thats becz Ive spent most of my small life with my set of old ppl, my grand folks! anyway, so i went there and just spent time with them and felt rather cool.
they were good fun to hang out with and even cracked brainless crazy jokes , the kinds we teenagers think we have a 'patent' over. the roll on the floor , laughing ur ass off kinds! i had a groovy time and I'm gonna drive down there more often , not because my applications require me to but because i want to.

anyway, I've been doing a lot of, a LOT of reading for my literature subject test this November. and genuinely speaking, i have begun to savor English. i mean i never hated it but it was never "my kinder" subject.
now i have begun to delight in poetry and revel in the plays these guys wrote decades and centuries ago and I've begun to really wanna read them , not just becz i got to but becz i want to!
i mean here i am , reading stuff written by a couple of 100 year old men which makes sense to me just like it did to them a 100 years ago!

it just perplexes the hell outta me that how can a guy know precisely what i feel or will feel when he was in a totally different world and a totally different being! how can two people feel the exact same things? that is why i adore poems, cz they're short and convey whatever they have to without wasting paper.
i r'ber a couple of years ago i used to be good at this stuff, i used to write good poems worth being shown around. now i suck at it! infact i just cant do poetry anymore. things change.
for instance, i used to despise Shakespeare. we had this poem called "the seven ages" by him in our 7th grade curriculum and i hated him and i hated everything ever written by him [guilt] and here i am spending as much time i can on his plays now. and as a matter of fact, i agree. he was really good. there really isn't any praise without no rhyme or reason.

So because I'm interested, i came across this exquisite piece of art [poems = art], the other day, I've even put it up on my other blog. i liked it too much!
It's a sonnet by E.E.cummings and it's splendid! enjoy.

I carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,
my true
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keepin the stars apart

i carry your heart , i carry it in my heart.

Wordless Weekend

Spent the weekend loitering around the mall and bidding farewell to a friend.you can find some queer pics here. She's goin to Mt. Holyolk for this fall.good we dint have any emotional moments. i hate goodbyes. and i cannot bring myself to say all the formal "was a pleasure" and "keep in touch"...I'd rather not meet the person at all. and i cannot , cannot go through the crying bear hugs. i just can't.

Anyway, I've been wanting to write so much, u guys have no idea!
but I'm just wordless! that's rather strange. has it ever happened to you that u have so much to say, so much to write but you cant! isn't it so weird?
stumbled on this poem day before and found this strange appeal to it.
it says that losing anything, relationships, friends, lovers or inanimate things like fave possessions , houses anything..it is an art.
wonder if it's an art or not. but for sure..its difficult to let go.
of even the smallest of possessions. well.read the poem. you'll see how she wants to portray that she's unperturbed by the losing element in her life. but she totally isn't.
isn't it so common...ppl putting up a brave front when u can so easily see through them. people are guarding themselves all the time... from acquaintances and even loved ones. why do we wanna keep it to ourselves when we know that sharing pain lessens it? i mean I'm a victim too. just another weird human trait i guess. hmm.

read the poem, really like it.

One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

take care everyone.

The Butterfly effect

It's been a stressful STRESSFUL week for me, starting with dreadful four hour classes of math on monday and tuesday leadin up to a not so great wednesday[:(] and a troublesome friday. now is the weekend and I'm goin out with my best friend for a day out, gotta like it.
plannin to catch a movie today, confused between transformers and ratatouille.
hmmmm.
suggestions anyone?

somethin really peculiar happened yesterday...i was goin for my classes and we stopped at the red light, i rolled down the window to feel the rain drops [ yeah it was raining] and suddenly this butterfly entered my car from nowehere, i rapidly rolled up the screen to let it stay, oh i so wanted it to. it fluttered around the cabin as if tryin to mark the place. it landed on my palm for a while then buzzed away cz i tried feelin its wings. it seemed to have this fascination for my hairbrush cz it kept landing on it more often than not.
i wonder sometimes how these lil' beings live. thats like us livin in place where everyone's hundred times our size, like giants all around. must be helluva scary. dunno how they manage. with all the maniacs trapping these lil animals and killin them. must be dam hard!
then it dawned on me some minutes later that it wasnt exactly its "idea of fun"..being trapped inside a car with a human being starin and gaping at it .
so i let it go.

another weird thing that occured, as i was passing the priya red light to go to vasant kunj, i saw these bunch of kids standin near the rear end of a water car, waiting for the man to open the tap to get some water. it looked like a pic i desperately wanted for my blog. darn i din carry my cam! shucks! now i have decided that my cam will go with me everywhere. i don wanna miss out on moments, such moments.

during the course of this week, i have been dwelling on some rather feminist issues and have prepared quite a few articles, have a debate comin up. life's hectic.
but i prefer it that way, i've realised that i like being occupied than being free becz then i don have my mind flyin away in different directions, its peaceful and focusing on the task at hand.

aite people, happy weekend, have a great time :)

passing thought:
"The thing always happens that you really believe in ; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
Frank Lloyd Wright.

I'm in control n' Lovin' it

This gymming thing..its A D D I C T I V E.
take my word for it. i mean ...I've gotten so used to it now..i feel a void if i miss it on a day. its like...u feel like high on urself...there is this sense of being in control. try it fellas..ure sure gonna love it.. its like...when ure working out or having a sweaty dance session..it liberates you..totally fills u up!

i personally am a dance fanatic. i love dancing so every time we have a dance theme workout i have the time of my life! wonder if its good for my heart...my pulse rises to 160 all the time..which is a sign of bad health..innit?
so today we had this jam session where we had the whole floor to ourselves and punky music was playin and we were just supposed to freak out and sweat it up!
ah! i like. :D
the thing about exercise is...u hate it if u don do it. and once u start off...its killer. u don wanna leave it.
its riveting.
agreed abt the hormone shit..the endorphins n stuff...hey I'm supposed to be a pre med major..boy i should know some details...well never mind!
so they were playin Geri halliwell to get the things steamed up....and damn! its like the most fast lane song ever, its so energising. makes u wanna jump up and get started. i've liked this song since ...5Th grade, when i first heard it.
listen to it and feel the grip!
this is close to the jam session we had today, only wilder! ;)
chek out the song at 1:13 [my fav part]



and ya..today's iDay!
so happy independence day folks! i really donnno wat to write abt this...i don really feel too enthusiastic abt the whole deal...guess i'll have to leave the country to know how cool it is..."familiarity breeds contempt" ..ya?
heh..kiddin...i've always loved this day ..well..thats becz its a holiday...and on a more serious note... like every normal country lovin person...i feel immense pride to be an indian but i get really pissed off by all the shows they have on tv today. hate commercialisation. period.

it came in the papers yesterday...that there was this survey conducted and indians ranked highest in it cz they were the ones who loved their culture the most! voila!
today the times of india ppl have done a good job with this iDay supplement called makers and shapers..its got good articled abt pl who've done somethin for the country..wonder why sonia gandhi's name is there. worthless woman!

im gonna enjoy the hoilday by studyin my ass off and watchin a will smith movie..u guessed it right...independence day! no matter how many times i watch it..i cant get nuff of it! im sure its got somethin to do with will smith. *giggles*
by the way...i watched swades a few days ago. its a moving film. must watch for all of us who are ready to leave motherland for foreign shores. geez...this really got me..dinnit? it's seriously nice. moves slow but then..so do all of our movies..right? so thats not much of a concern.
btw iday sounds like im celerating "apple day" or something right? :P

I'll end this post with this strip i saw somewhere.
and this cool one liner i read somewhere :
"No one can ride your back if it's not bent!" Amen.

Happy iDay! BE PROUD!

"That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"

Have u ever said something u really wanted to and then realise what a gruesome mistake u've committed?
let me explain...I'm one of those people who are just not able to say what they want to...i have always wanted to be able to be mean to people who 're incredulously mean to me and guess what? today i was. i was able to say the exact words in the exact phrases at the exact time i wanted to. and now i feel tortured. this always happens to me...when i say what i wanted to..i end up torturing myself...i feel terrible.i feel like a horrible person. if only i could go back in time and undo everything i did.I've decided ..I'm not gonna try and tell people what i want to. its just not my thing.wonder how some ppl can just be so brutal and rude and get away with it?

anyway...today has been an exceptional day otherwise...my part of the world has good weather, and nice windy breezes...and a slight tint of sunshine..just the way it should be...and there is no downpour ..just the hint of it...again, just the way it should be.
on my usual stroll today in the park, i finally was able to get rid of my fear of insects and held a butterfly in my hands for a fraction of a minute.
it was pure magic. i was delighted. the velvety feel of her wings and the titillating motion that it was up to... as if trying to tell me something.


i am intrigued by butterflies...they are all the same but each one unique...they are the only species so close to us human beings..we 're also all the same but each one of us is unique..they say there is always exactly one more person in the world who looks like you..wonder if I'll ever meet my twin? actually i don't want to..I'd rather believe I'm the only one blessed to look like me. :P

I've also discovered that out of all the places i like...i adore bookstores...the ones in which u can sit and read for hours ...not the ones in which the silly ppl shove u out if u stick around loitering...
bookstores are the best thing that happened to man. to me at least.
there is something so enchanting about shelves and shelves of books waiting to be read . my ultimate fantasy is to be able to own a house and have a huge library with bookshelves extending unto the ceiling. pure happiness.
i have this theory according to which our books choose us. we don't choose them.
each book knows what kind of a reader it wants and so sub-consciously when we enter a book place ..our mind leads us into te passages where our destined books lie and we end up selecting them out of the millions of books available.
isn't there something so mysteriously fascinating about it? this is the exact reason why i feel books are our best friends..they talk to us! and like all other friends..books also "choose" to be with us. I'm so ecstatic to know so many books like me..cz i keep ending up in a bookstore more often than my allowance allows!
my mother refuses to give me money cz she's aware I'll spend it all in a bookshop!
well...the book lord chose to endow me with all the precious friends...i pity the people who don't like reading.... they miss out on so much! but then it's not their fault, books don't befriend them.
pardon me for sounding un realistic..but i have my moments! when i choose to live in a fairy tale.
and i have no regrets!

i found this extremely amazing song...which so exemplifies the state of mind i have right now . its from the movie "the wizard of Oz". try to love it...
here are the lyrics:
over the rainbow:
http://www.reelclassics.com/Musicals/Wizoz/rainbow-lyrics.htm
if u want u can soothe yourself by followin the link and listenin to it yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A2Jt4WOxN8.

happy weekend people!
i hope u have it as beautiful as u want it to be.
:)

'nuff said!

I'm back to the grind!
all consumed in stuff...when i saw this strip all i cud think of was :
"how precise!"
guess we're all addicted..this blogging thing gets you! it so so does!

PS I'm apologetic for depending heavily on comic strips [read C&H and others] for my blogging...i guess I'm just havin my PHASE!

I'm takin off by leavin this quote behind..i read it somewhere and i cant rber anythin..not even the author's name and watev..help me will y'all?

"There is nothing to regret...neither for the person who leaves ...nor for the person whose left behind!"
makes sense.
a LOT of sense.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around

right..so its F*****ship day!
why i use the asterisks?? go figure.
and is that the spelling of asterics??
or is it asterix? no that's a comic strip! talking of comic strips...u guys saw my previous one...dintcha?? and from the highly POSITIVE feedback that i got...i decided to make ANOTHER one...for my dear dear Calvin.

anyway...
i have viral fever everyone....and i had 102 degrees...101 degrees temperature last night and when i talk..i sound like Marilyn Manson..not that i mind though?
so its f'ship day and my younger sister's friends came over and bought her those lil stoopid bands of different colors???
are they insane or are they insane...like these Archie's ppl charge u 70 bucks for one sickly lousy band and my sister, whose in 7th grade by the way has like 15 "best friends"???
are u kiddin me?
and she wants to buy one for all? and mom wont say anything!!! right..talking of spoiling kids...!
i was always a sensible kid..i never did any of this crap and i expected my lil sis to get that sensibility ..from the same genes or something?? she even bought a copy of deathly hallows...!!
WHY???
we already have lame friends who do buy these things...anyone heard of BORROWING books??? and why are libraries there for crying out loud???
without soundin too vindictive ill just say...we're havin trouble here..too many ppl losing their minds!

i have also discovered that i don like nice ppl a lot..simply becz u cant do anything with them....i mean they are nice so they'll be nice to u and then u cant do anything abt it!! even if ure being a complete pest..they'll still be nice!! which makes YOU feel like a jerk!!!
get me???
ima go n check my temperature now and get some rest..i'm sick remeber??

while you guys go n check out za new graffiti!
turns out..bill watterson actually seems to like it..[ got an angelic msg from him in my dreams]..so that's Calvin performing on hard rock for y'all.
i leave it on u to guess which artist is playing on the box!
hint: led zep?




DISCLAIMER: I'm in a bad mood cz I'm sick and my sister is a hard core spendthrift and my parents don seem to mind that at all. we're having a pool party this weekend where she'll blow away thousands again. like that???
oh basically...I'm just sick n cranky. sorry folks but i just like spreading it around!!
:P
cheers!

Reality continues to ruin my life

right!this was supposed to be trashy and was made for revenge....turns out i can draw a bit with the mouse...
this is a graffiti i made on facebook..ended up likin it so much..wanted all of u to see it!
plus ..its CALVIN!!
its got to be good! no matter how i mess it up!

TADA!!
"sweet revenge"


so this is what i feel now:
calvin = moi

Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

:D
i know.
i know!

Single minded to the point of Recklessness

Maverick:" Too close for missles, I'm switching to guns".

have u ever scared yourself? no really, thats the question...like have u ever really scared you?
sometimes...we become so passionate about something that we start scaring ourselves...with our obsessiveness. i feel nothing good ever came out of normal efforts...if u want soemthing so hard...so bad ...u gotta be obsessed with it!
of late..i have realised that when i do get into somethin like really hard core! i start scarin myself...u know that feelin..
u eat with it. u sleep with it. u do everything with it in mind! i mean single minded to the point of recklessness!
what scares me is...what if THAT soemthin i desire so much leaves me feelin empty inside? i mean i've been here before. have u ever had this strong urge about somethin and then after havin it in ur hands ..u just let it slip away?
that feelin of emptiness...of not knowin what happened and not wanting to either?

i may not be makin the least sense to you people but its a serious concern for me. To me ..life is these straight words...want somethin.go get it.period.
but what after that?
what after u have that somethin? what do u do with it? what if its NOT what u wanted?? what if somethin that was supposed to leave u brimming with joy leaves u empty and devastated? well...devastated is a harsh word..i shud have thought before employin it!

if u've ever been utterly single minded abt soemthin...you'll realise u get this extreme power ...this un beating un- relenting strength inside...that makes u worthy of movin any mountain!!
when u're so indulged into somethin....the gravity of teh situation dawns on u! and all the what -ifs come into picture!
the only problem with being so immersed into things is....when u see them crashing down in front of u..when u see everythin fallin apart right under ur nose....and u cant help it! have u ever built a sand castle really fervently and with all your heart in it? and then have u seen the waves coming down on it and destryoing everything? THAT is what i'm talkin abt!

sometimes the vastness of somethin scares u...u yourself ..your own 'obsession and will' can scare u..its like the sky or maybe the water....imagine urself in teh middle of the ocean in the middle of the night with water everywhere...black water..and nowhere to go...
sometimes u really have no where to go...u cant run away from urself? and thats exactly what u want to do... u wanna escape ur thoughts! and ur own will.

anyway..of late i've been feelin thirsty all the time...wonder what it is...wonder what my system is upto? scary...eh?? :P

by the way i came to know yesterday what they do in the american slaughter houses....they take the lambs and all thsoe animals u guys love eating ....put them in boilin hot water till the time they're almost dead and then pull them out and lay them on the aseembly lines where they lie writhing in pain for a good 15 minutes and after the creatures are dead ...they're sent out to the exotic hotels where u dig a hole into ur pockets to pay for the check!
this is all it takes to make me stay off non veg forever. think abt this people! you cant do this to fellow earth in habitants. if thsi is what they do in america...i don even have teh courage to find out what happens in india!
its an issue. stop eatin it. its killin people!

passin thought:
“It is the calm and silent water that drowns a man”
-african proverb

The way i see it...

its been a harsh day..i got up in the morning with all the energy of a beaten up horse...
man! this migraine thing is killing me..if only they would research some medicine for migraine rather than burning brain fuel over clones and stem cells!
why...pray why i ask...is it necessary to have clones?? i mean anyway...one person is enough to bore the hell out of people around him,...we don want more of 'em sticking around...
bah! so then i thought...let me switch on this TV which i haven't seen in ages.
ages=a week by the way, and 10 minutes into watching it...i found myself annoyed already so i thought to myself..I'm better off without this...

as i was browsing through Sunday times the past weekend..i realised that they had removed the quotable quotes section from the paper...i looked around frantically ...trying to find it somewhere....on some page..but all my eyes met with were dumb portrayals of supposedly happening news...and all the crime shit! there was a full length article by shobha de..on how bipasha basu had got a boob job done!!!
do we wanna read this?? isn't 'Delhi times' a bigger pest already! what a pain...
let me explain this ....
a few years ago..the times of India used to be my object of affection....just ..for the simple reason that it was so innovative and so creative...i just had to -had to read it before i even brushed! then the catastrophic makeover happened...."he & she" [the Sunday magazine] changed to "times life!" which is nothing but a shitty glossy advertisement- filled magazine ! i hated it, but i remained calm!

those of u who were avid readers would recollect...that earlier the mind over matter section used to have short stories from across the world..by great acknowledged authors as well as worthy readers who were even more worthy contributors....they were enlightening and delightful reads...then came Mr. deepak chopra!!! boom! it all became a commercialised zen page!! they call THAT zen????
does that guy even know what being un materialistic is all about?? he ruined it! deepak chopra = evil devil.
i survived that too.i mean i still had speaking tree and swaminomics.
recently when shashi tharoor started his column...i was beyond myself with glee.
i love this guy! and getting to read his thoughts and expressions on a weekly basis..cudnt have been better! i exclaimed:
"right! so finally someone knocked some sense into these people! wow!"
but then that was just a momentary phase of being sensible i guess...
they removed quotable quotes this weekend!!!
I'm sure its some commercial gimmick by that deepak-moron-chopra! he must be starting another "interactive " column! bullshit!

i long for the days when Sunday times used to be so enthralling and pious! i never liked the weekday papers anyway...but the Sunday one was like worth keeping for years..i still have torn articles from teh wise and soulful yesteryears[so i would like to call them]. now its just money -fortune-commercialisation.

why is 'sinking into mediocrity' not a concern for them? why cant they realise that writing is one aspect of art which, if gets over shadowed by commercial gains...gets destroyed...or for that matter..all realms of art.
you have to conserve the sanctity of it....its something like the innocence of a 12 year old girl...if its lost ..its lost forever...
if i could just make myself audible to these jackasses...i would make them understand what they're losing ...for starters..I'm not reading it now.
I'm just not.I'm just so done with it.
art ain't art if it loses its soul.only if they would listen.
*sigh*

i also made an important discovery today....the b block park in my sector where i haven't been before is like a paradise found! its like the garden in the movie notting hill! the benches call on me...they beckon me to come and read there...i have always had a fascination with park benches...the wrought iron ones with the smooth curved edges or the wooden ones with the carved sides...they have always meant serenity to me...something about them is just so attractive..they are so still and have been like that for years...have had old people rest on them...homeless beggars sleep on them...tired joggers relax on them love lorn idiots wait on them[ right okay..love lorn sweethearts..okay now?] ...

i have decided that whenever i get time..I'm gonna take a book and curl up on one of those beauties and pause for a moment to absorb all the stillness of the place..
taking it all and not- missing- a -moment!

"the object of my affection"


this is why i love lance armstrong:
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

(photo courtesy:anna)

Contentment Seeketh

"...My salad days, When I was green in judgment, cold in blood..." - William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra

hmmm...as i see it...im sittin here..entirely and totally displeased.
umm..no please dont get any ideas why..i don like it when people assume what i'm gonna say..cz its so hopelessly wrong the whole time....
i have discovered that life is the most impossible thing to handle. and contentment the hardest to sought.
right. one moment something happens to u ...and then u swear to god u will not let it happen again..and then u tell yourself that it wont happen if u don't let it happen...and then eventually it does happen and the whole point is lost.
what I'm talking might sound so excessively pointless ...since i cannot explicitly talk abt it..but the crux of the matter is :its a tough thing just to remain happy!

i wonder with all the wondering cells in my being as to why the basic requisite of our existence and the most elementary need of mankind ,"happiness" is so hard to seek?
when we take upon paths of revenge or similar stuff...are we destroying ourselves or are we liberating ourselves??
why are the hardest battles we fight against the people we love the most...when its should be with our hard sworn enemies?
why has the world been at war since i dono how many centuries when all everyone desires is peace?? okay...this is going to the next level.
but all i have been able to figure out is that wats basic is the most strenuous to achieve!
alright this was just another lame attempt at another lame personal post tryin to get the ambiguity out of the scene but hell! i can afford to be goddamn held up cz this godforsaken is supposed to be my blog!

though i have sent a number of questions into the void right now[ if u guys know any of them..please feel free to enlighten the rest of human race] but i would hold the followin facts to be self evident ..from now on [sorry for stealin ur words mr.jefferson....]

ah...lets not make this formal..but i want everyone to know what i took 17 yrs to figure out:
1.i have discovered that the more u try to do something..the more it doesn't happen.
2.i have figured out that the best way to remain happy is to not seek happiness.
3.i have discovered that its best to be patient .patience srslee is the utmost virtuous attribute.
4.i have found out that the only way i can stay un affected is by not letting it affect me[ what...no what did i say...so u see...I've lost it already]
5.i have begun to realise that when they say "everything in life happens for a reason "...they really mean it.
6.i have discovered that Kurt Cobain was right when he said :
"I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head."
7. i have realised that life is not gonna be the same forever...
8. i have realised that what I'm realising right now will soon be forgotten by me and i will revert back to what i was up to [ thats y i blog silly]
9. but i also know that deep inside i will prevent it from happening this time.[who am i foolin?]
10. i 've realised that its always better to be cold and forgiving rather than attached and hung upon.
11. i have realised that this post is what happens to me when I'm thinking a lot.
12.i have realised that basically we should just learn one thing in life...
"to let go".
13. i have realised that when u hit some particular button accidentally the whole post vanishes... but thanks to blogger...its auto saved.[alright this din take 17 yrs!]
14.i have realised that without the swings in life..it would be sad and pointless and risk free ...but wud be like a flat road to nowhere.
15. i have realised that one small effort in the rigtht direction can make a herculean difference to all the wrong ones .


well...i think a lot and introspection can be injurious to health.
by the way...I'm the type of person who will never accept the fact that a movie/song/writer/book is good till i cannot testify for it myself...so when i saw the fast and the furious today...i told myself ...people CAN make sense sometimes.


PS notice the world of difference that one yellow happy face makes to the hundreds of blue sullen ones. see what i mean??

PPS I'm gonna avoid using caps so often from now on..cz as it turns out...it can annoy people!
:)
take care everyone.




passing thought:
"its unbelievable how things change in a minute"
.the doors

a picture is worth a thousand words

words fail me!

alright folks....
I've been pestered a lot lately but i wont freak out here...parents have a weird way of making u feel important....strangely when i ask my mom to talk to me she has no time..and when i ask her to leave me alone..she starts off with "mommy praehin".
i am thoroughly confused!!

well..today has been quite an awesome day..cz i found out the exact Calvin strips that read my mind right now! shoo..don dare go see it..read the damn blog first !
ah i guess y' ppl don listen...and for those of u who still resisted..be proud of yourself cz ure gonna reach ur ultimate destiny in life! may the force be with you!
hehe...

well...as i said earlier...my mom has been pestering me..i am above 18 and I'm allowed to do whatever i want ..still bein the most extraordinarily amazing daughter as i am..i still tell my mom an account of all i do and obey her quite possibly..all the time...[I'm cool..y'all know]

so okay i had vodka at TGIF the other day..actually..i din have it myself...my friends pushed me...so i took a sip! that's it...and then i did the fatal most grotesque mistake..i came home and told my mom about it....
bang!! the rambling started...but then since she's a cool mom..she maintained her ever calm demeanour and explained stuff to me ..as a result of it..i have promised her that I'm not consuming alcohol for the rest of my life which is an honest promise.[cz i hated it anyway]
but u know one thing leads to another and then the unfortunate moment came..the one which all of us dread!! y' know what i mean!
what started out as supposedly an "easy" conversation drained the hell outta me and i was choking!
an excerpt:

mom: when u go to college...u'll have ppl pushing u for stuff..its on u how u handle it..we 're not gonna be thr to guide u forever!
[ right! i know what i have to do! im a nice kid u know that..now stop it ...pls don't go THERE]
mom: so u see beta...us is very distracting ..ppl do anything and everything there..what u have to keep in mind is that u re from a good family and ure a good person..and that ure thr to study...life is a box of chocolates....u pick the one u want!
[okay mom...now u're gonna read out quotes from Forrest gump..nice...HEAVEN]
mom: y'know they have open sex!
[tada!!! i knew it!]
mom: but u have to know ur roots and always be the sweetheart u are....and y' know what...if u keep telling me everything like this..I'm gonna be able to guide u well..so always seek advice from me..moms are ur best friends!
[ ya mom! but then best friends are supp to be 17 yrs old! ]
dad arrives;
LONG PAUSE
he entered conversation
i ran for the door.

phew!

[ try savin the strip and enlarge it on fax viewer for understanding text]
......


and well.. i saw hp5! and all i wanted to do was puke!
point to be taken: never watch a movie based on a book at least not after reading the book!
it was apparently the most disappointing of all of themm..alright listen to this..
when i read the book..i cried and cried and cried when sirius died! and in the movie..i was so taken aback by the hurried death ..i had no time to react!
poor soul just dies and harry is sullen for a zillionth fraction of a second!
right! he's supposed to be his godfather! i mean he showed more expression when Cedric died!'
and the kiss??? i mean thr is more chemistry when emraan hashmi [the most unattractive person on the planet..potential biggest loser] kisses the new chick on the block! and they took 31 takes???? was it that difficult for cryin out loud??
all i wanted to say was..get a grip !
guess I'm gonna leave it at this...cz I'm more interested in other things than writing reviews on worthless movies.

cheers!

PS while browsing Calvin n Hobbes ...i also found this extremely thought provoking[i found it that way] and a very philosophical strip which i'd liek all of u to see and think over.
PPS maybe u're right udit!

its not weird.its pure.

i adore emerald green ink.
more so when its freshly out from the pen...the shining
scintillating wet emerald green ink on paper surface makes the world go round
for me! its a pity that most of us prefer royal blue...which is again a perfectly
respectable color and acquires the same affection which i bestow on emerald green.
but again royal blue will be royal blue and can never possibly even begin to resemble
emerald green and i have something for emerald green so i am negatively partial to royal blue....before i begin to sound like a maniac ..let me explain the reason De etre for this extremely unusual "ink -love " today.

well....the past couple of weeks have been utterly dry as far as writing is concerned,i have written more than 3 posts but found none suitable enough for this space. random they were but greatly profound .as always.[flattery works for me] :P but they were too intense ..and too revealing which is perhaps the most characteristic trait of my writing after digression that is.

today i decided to spend my day at the attic..this teeny tiny wooden room where all ur wrecked an ol stuff lies...as i was laying my 12Th grade books to rest ...i found myself scheming though really antique things..like my juniors school diaries...
sketch pens..drawing scrapbooks...u know the ones were uve just filled the pages with circles....
if u've ever been to a beginners' drawing lesson..like in kindergarten or something..u will perhaps recollect that the first thing they make u do is draw circles...innumerable number of circles...basically done to perfect the art of drawing round figures....then, it definitely was a pain in the neck..like:
" dude!! when do i get to actually do something meaningful here?"
but now it seems so cute and lovable..really.loverly.
:)
i even saw stacks of pencil cases!! i was obsessive about collecting them! i had every design possibly available in the market! i remember once in 3rd grade this particularly gaudish girl in my class got this daisy duck pencil box to school..i approached her and interrogated her about the source of this exquisite piece of tin art! she answered in the most commonplace and ridiculous manner
" someone gifted it to me"
gimme a break!!
whats with people...if they don't wanna tell u where they got something from y cant they use some other line than the stereotypical gift one!!!
oh it grosses me out!! big time!
eventually i pestered my mom to search the entire delhi and buy it for me!! i just had to have it! [spoilt. i know]

i don't want u to think of this as some stupid nostalgic dead "i miss those days " post..here I'm just trying to profess my love for ..well.."stationery"
..anything..from notebooks..diaries..pencils..felt tip pens..scrapbooks...calligraphy stuff..pencils[yep i mentioned it twice..er..u wont get it]

umm..I've always been this lover of sorts more like some connoisseur of pencils...even small notebooks...I've always preferred em over long rusty registers...i have this fetish for writing on four lined notebooks..i find something irresistible abt them....i literally broke down in tears when my mom snatched away my 4 lined notebooks from me telling me to grow up..they are maybe the reason for my fabulous handwriting! :D
and aND AND wrapping paper!
ah!its such an indulgence...i can never refrain myself from buying wrapping paper! its all over the place..brown ones...printed ones...hand made ones..oh and gave u ever written on a hand made paper..the rough surface brushes the graphite away blunting it quite soon..the effect is pure perfection!! i used to even paint my own wrappin papers..and they were some success! every bday party i uesd to go to...i used to be at the recieving end of truckloads of compliments from all the uncles and aunties!!
:D :D

then the yellow ruffled pages of parchment paper!! ooo...heaven!!! and the smell of old books..i act a lil queer around em..i mean my dad used to freak out when he used to catch me in my room with an old book in hand digging my head inside it trying to inhale every possible breath intensely full with that fragrance...it used to drive him nuts and it used to make me soooo happy! another smell i greatly loved was the smell of pastel chalks..the Faber castell ones...aah!!! like if my mom got me a new set i would spend hours on end sniffing it!! it really drew my grandpa suspicious as to whether i was a reincarnation of a dog!
:(
;)
u know its like i just connect to such stuff...as i grew up..it translated into writing and reading..but the passion of being near such things has grew into an obsession..its my life..reading writin..drawing..colorin..i actually never used to sharpen my pencils back in my early years...i used to always chisel them with a blade..there is this aesthetic beauty to a chiseled pencil which a sharpened one lacks..it just cant be the same....never!

on my 11Th birthday..i asked my mom to get me a pack of charcoal pencils..no din sniff them but from there charcoal and me en trailed upon a never ending labor of love..not many people know but i am a skilled charcoal sketch artist! hehe..cut the skilled part out! :)
in junior school i got so obsessed with charcoal pencils that i refused to write with pens even on exam days ..which led me into deep trouble..but its unfair!! y cant a kid at least have the liberty to write with whatever they want??
elder people suck!!! :x

I'm happy sat wants us to use 2B pencils..it was a sheer delight to write my essay! the "10" is an electrifying testament testifyin the fact that people do well at jobs they delight in!! ;)
sometimes i feel like I'm some philosophical wizard type person stuck in here..i should have taken birth in the feather pens and parchment rolls era!! no srslee....i should have.
as a matter of fact...i just took to writing and reading as easily as a fish to a pond.
am i born to be a writer??
my dad breaks into his usual grunting laugh whenever i mention this!
he says" no dahlin..u're gonna end up being a stationary retailer"
RUDE!!
i fervently protest!!

u don really know where u'll land up..
u need to recognise what ure made of! what ure born to do? what are u incomplete without??
not that i am some wizard at this... but i see my self finding myself !
saw good will hunting today..and i couldn't agree more:

Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.
Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano?
Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fen way, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.

u just need to be able to do it.
effortlessly.


PS velvety wrappin papers...I'm OBSESSED!!

"the question is ...who is to be master..thats all."

today is a historical day...because today..i mastered the art of eatin with chopsticks! yes i can now do it with perfection and flair! thank you...
now lets get to the point:

wokay folks...am back....this long hiatus can be blamed on ..well...my sheer laziness and short lived interest in things...u see..friends...im the sort of person that will actually grow tired and uninterested of almost anything! no srslee..
after long un worthy hours on facebook and the likes..and of course worthy hours of blogging..i ve gotten so goddamn f**kin bored of it..that i don even wanna surface on teh net...
this being one of the most ridiculous traits of mine...has had its toll on me....er...neva mind!

so I've read a number of weird ..books in this 2 week long haul.
the weirdest one being ...
Linda Goodman's sun signs.
i know...i read a BOOK ON ASTROLOGY???
faints.
I've realised that she basically finds out good stuff abt every zodiac and writes in a sheepish and cloyingly sweet manner ..too much for me to take!
i cannot bring myself to agree with the fact that i can be all the following and a lot more ...
charming.
and lovable.
and ambitious
and convincing
and passionate
and authoritative
and shy
and BLEH
got my point???
y do ppl even bother reading such utter trash on astrology?? i prefer my math 2C books any day!
but all wasn't bad...i read atlas shrugged which is, as I've said a million times over "phenomenal"
I'm gonna devote a full post to it..as my own gesture of respect and admiration.

people aren't really aware but I'm a serious party goer...i mean i can frequent stuff like 'meet ups' almost 7 days a week, yea!
my folks and me were invited to this uber cool dinner and vodka nite the other day..ya there were cute guys but i don give a rats' ass!
i met this admiral "i don rber the name" who retired like 8 yrs ago...he was mind blowing! we talked for hours on end..abt F1 ..football...books...barack obama[ by teh way i think I'm gonna have a tough one to choose bw he and Hilliary...not that the future depends on my choice but hell!! let me feel important]
i really like intellectually stimulating people who can make witty conversations. dumb studs are a big no no!
there was a DJ ...so as always i went wild..danced for 4 hrs non stop! another trait of nutty delhi djs ..they are gonna play beedi jalayle umpteen number of times ..and the only time when its not bein played will be when kajra re is bein played!! no srslee...what is wrong with them???
by the way... to my utter disbelief and horror...i found myself starin at teh tv screen dumbfounded yesterday night...there is a new movie called cash which has an equally appalling track called mind blowin mahia!!!!
to express meself in hindi movie protocol i wud say "ye sun ne se pehle main mar kyun nai gayi" :(

and I'm in an exceptional mood today!
let me explain:
1) i stayed up till 3 last nite to catch grey's anatomy..alrite...i was awake and it aired on TV..i din stay up for it buh watev...and in the mornin i come to know that some stupid soap called ugly betty is gonna replace its time slot!
2) i just dropped my already "about to break open any moment" cell fone the 57645495079 time ...whats with me?
3) my mom informed me with a very cordial smile that I'm not getting my iphone before i get into college which is next fall!!
4)the word of the day is "magnanimous"! are u kiddin me?? what kinda person wouldn't know that word?? i mean ure supp to increase our word power! fools!
5) the citibank peopel have called me 57645495079 times askin me if i want a loan! y cant i just shoot them? or y cant they just let ppl live? i DO NOT WNT A LOAN! fcuk off...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! maybe I'm plane irritated or is it that LIFE IS SO SCREWED rite now! hopefully when i see harry potter on friday things will be okay but then that'll be a momentary lapse of reality!

ah! the other day someone asked me what my name is..and when i said anu he says with a queer angle to his face..the kind of expression which u sport when ure watchin a movie like the exorcism of emily rose....
"that cant be it..no one's name is anu...its either anupama or anuradha or somethin of the sort ...u know it has to have soemthin attached to it" and I'm lookin at the moron's face and just dwellin in my moment of superiority..and sportin a bedazzling smile on my face with an expression of sunny playfulness..the kind which will help me get away with murder: of this lesser mortal !!
thankfully i don't have a habit of blurtin out at ppl so i controlled myself and told him to mind his own business but i feel this is a serious issue!
this world is becomin full of fools who are injurious to us! they can cause heart attacks ..brain hemorrhages and what not! ppl do die of self inflicted hatred!they do.Ignorance is crippling.
anyone whose been to this blog..will notice that i have deleted all my pics from here...my fit of rage to blame...
actually I'm even growing tired of my blog name...
pls suggest somethin folks.really.

the past 2 weeks can be summarised in this verse by Lewis Carroll.

"The horror of that moment," the king went on,
"i shall never forget!"
"you will though," the queen said ,
"if u dont keep a memorandum of it." i know i blogged about all this.
umm..i dono y.

PS i can finally type without lookin at the keyboard! woah!!!! :D
PPS taj is the most wonderful wonder! thank heavens..for once the population did some good!

PPPS for those of u who are wonderin abt the significance of the title..well...simply put..this is the way linda goodman introduces my sun sign people in her book..basically one of my traits that i like. :)

We're here to make a dent in the universe.

prescript: this has perhaps become by far the most un-formative random [short..ya right..when did i start doing short posts??] write up. nevertheless i must point out here that i am at my digressing worst. i have uniformity for a change. yeah!
but read it at your own risk. and if u do at all..then do comment...let me know what i have done here.



"the finest steel goes through the hottest furnace."

why? why does ambition have to face adversities??
okay here's the deal..
either u sit back..relax..join daddy's buisness and be a lame dependent fool...do wat other ppl do ..and be a mute moron!
the moment u get that zing..that "eureka" moment..the troubled paradise unfolds!

i don get it..y is life so goddamn difficult for people who wanna take the untrodden path..??
seriously speaking...behind all those rich successful smirks are truckloads of pain and sweat.
Winston Churchill said:"no battle is won without blood, sweat and tears" AND ruthlessness!![my version.this]

damaged we all are..some of us a little more than the others!
the most cognitive of journeys are those from difficulties to success! but i guess its all worth it!
have u ever felt like "the chosen one"
like god's made u with the finest stuff and has put u in this big puzzled world to do something inexplicably great with ur life?
have u ever had your parents tell u: "what u wanna do is gonna really wreck u till its over..u're gonna live on the cutting edge..we can make ur life more comfortable if only u wud listen"

listen to me...why? alright...kids do get inspired by the stereotypically amazing success stories
"bill gates dropped out of university and he went on to become the wealthiest man in the world"
"Einstein flunked math in high school"
no! no!
what are we trying to prove here?? go figure.

every one's got their own calling...to each his own!
but i know this much for sure..

"We're here to make a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why even be here? We're gonna create a completely new consciousness, like an artist or a poet. We're gonna rewrite the history of human thought with what we're doing. That's how you have to think of this."


PS this might sound a really weird out of the world insane piece of writing...
its not weird ..its pure!

random it is. but so am I.

PPS you may not be able to relate to this...you might not even get any link here..cz this really has been written for me...i can understand ..i can relate.
however..watchin pirates of silicon valley might help here.

my happy ending

There's this unaldulterated sort of piety in happiness.
Robert Frost said: "happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length!" so true ..
and according to me ..nothin brings more happiness than accomplishment..
losing meself in work and than seein the flourishin results make my day!

alrite...so today was a realy good day..did i say good..neah...amazinn :)

as a result of a series of unfortunate events that i underwent last year [ i like puttin in movie titles to express meself]..i had become almost averse to happiness..u know..the type of people who dun really want to be upbeat cz they've gotten so frustrated wid all the ..well.."persistent blues"..

as a matter of fact..i had developed a strong liking for normal days..i liked normal days..they made me feel ..umm..."normal"
but i still had that small teeny weeny inkling urge for joy..i totally belive in the phrase "a Journey of a thousand steps begins with the first"..i guess its a japanese proverb..
point is..i consider the followin as one of the worth taken first steps...
i participated in a "word war " of sorts today..it was actually a bunch of people ..around 50 of us..from good schools[i wanna make sure u guys KNOW that i din win laurels amongst a couple of fools]..we were supposed to address on various issues...more like an impromptu debate..to test our vocab and conversational skills and thought expression capability.

for instance...the proposed bill reagarding the people who've done grad in US gettin green cards..[cool]..and about how the steppin down of tony blair and the 'coronation' of sorts of gordon brown is gonna change the fate of britain..and whether schumacher is the god of all F1 drivers..yeah..he does have soem competion in ayrton senna[the poor fella died almost as soon as he began...god rest him in peace].but schumi still rules the podinum..whoever thinks alonso is good shud go fuk himself!
anyway..
so you would have inevitably grasped by now...i won!
i dominated the whole discourse and that is more important to me than anything else..i felt "my life is brilliant" and i forgot abt all the ill fated unfortunate happenings of the past..

i wonder how the tiniest of things bring me such immense pleasure..
may be its correctly said "happiness comes in small packages!" :)

here i would wanna add that i would solemnly testify for the excellent skills of my competitors..which include quite a lot of brainy asses!
just the way i like...
i mean what could be better than havin a bunch of people with who u can loiter around the streets of janpath singin "take it easy"[love eagles]..watch sickly awful bad ass stupid hindi sex comedies and laugh your ass off..have mississipi mud pie at mocha's [i never get the spellin of mississipi right! damm!] ..praise your own MACs and drool over everything "apple" and still talk about hemingway,coelho,wodehouse and dahl in the same breath!

this is my abso-fukin-lute idea of a purrfect company! though i always make a complete fool of myself among em..i mean they completely cannot get convinced how someone can be so dumb to have swallowed one full spoon of coffee...what am i? reatrded?
and i cannot bring myself to identify with any of raghav's weird fetish[whats the plural of fetish?] for computer lingos!! i m like illetrate through his eyes...
what the hell? just because i donno how to write programs in C++ and watev.. doesnt mean i dont have the right to live??
he totally crazily worshipd such langs and practicaly knows all teh existing ones...
I on the other hand just knw a few words...like.linux..java et cetera.[i hate etc...prefer the whole word]
i dont find them adorable but neither am i repulsed ..infact i really like the way the word "linux "sounds..
L-I-N-U-X. nice. i queerly like words ending in "x"
well..so
they're all great thinkers and even better doers!
plus WE all swear by CATCh 22!
thats a masterpiece by josepf heller for all those who dont know.

so to cut a long story short ...im blissful today! feel like a godess..
guess im flyin too high in self glory..hehe..its not like i've got admision in harvard!
plus discoverin a new song "stand by me" by ben .e. king (right udit..it was not by john lennon)(voila!) added to the felicity! people..stand by me is an extremely heart winnin number..the kind of song u can just hum along while strummin your guitars even when u don know m of music!

all this while..there has been a recuuring thought in my mind..why does "kiss me" have such weird lyrics? talkin of weird lyrics..some of U2's songs take away the trophy[i love U2.period.]on that account...ive never really understood what actually is the concept of the song "with or without you"..though i'm hopelessly in love with it!
anyway..so what does avril wanna tell us ..
"Swing me ..upon it's hanging tire,
Bring bring..bring your flowerhat..we'll take the trail marked on your
father's map..." [?????] :/
but i agree that the song is simply ecstatic!

well..i realised somethin today..its all in our hands..how we feel..our happiness should never depend on anyone..expectations seriously bring misery!
its I who decides what happens in my life... how will i fill the blank? greys or pinks? i assume u understand here that greys's for sorrow and pink for happiness.[Sometimes, things just don’t make sense. Nonsensical ]

on this contented blissful note..i end it here.
now i'll go and read one of the regulars..i guess ill do one of dahl's today..simply awwwsum he is!
wait..i have even developed this new habit of speakin and writin like yoda...the green fellow frm star wars..r'ber?
hmm..nice thing it is.
now go..i must!
hehe.. :D

err...i use too many brackets ...dont i?? [bear with me] ;)

PS another happy stuff...blogger introduces automatic saving today...so next time when the comp blows up or there's some darn electricity problem..i wont have to worry!!! wowwww!
PPS todays's a good day for bubble bath! :P