the last long run

pre script:
this is a very random post. i switch thoughts every two sentences..that is cz i have a very queer state of mind right now. so its very weird.all weird.watev.

so...

i went for a zealous jog the other day n it was like a thinkin marathon!
does running intensify the speed of thoughts???
or is it because the blood circulation to the brain increases so u are capable of better performance? thinkwise
well..
i think therefore i am.
the role of thinkin in my life is identical to the role of gills in fish
it helps me live.

as i was approaching the last long run...i saw this guy lying on the green grass wid his lappy on the side
since im bu yin one too..i thought i shud just go n ask for advice...
im not one of those people who are painfully shy in front of strangers
infact..im just too in your face..i really don't feel shy ..ever
i do have my moments of doubt n awkwardness but nothing really deters me to go n talk to someone..i mean its no big deal for me...
so this guy had a viao (cool..i 'll have a macbook)...incidentally i know him
he's my neighbour's grandson who studies at upenn.
wow...i wud love to go to upenn..one of the most smokin' univs ever..
so i asked him wat he was upto..n he was just lyin there motionless..
i said to myself.."is he demented or deaf?"
after quite a spell..i stood up to leave...he asked me to stay
i was like...hello...i was just sittin there talkin to u n u were sort of counting the stars in sunshine!
as i found out later...he was just rethinking some of his preferences abt going back to the us..he said he wanted to come back after his phd...and do his own work..something which he yearns
I'm like..why would anyone wanna chuck the million dollar offers he's getting for something which is gonna be so unforeseeable..so erratic...but i guess thats the way life is!
infact...mine is at the top space where unpredictability is concerned....

as i went for the last run..by the way..i love last runs..they are so intense...u're totally drained...soaked in sweat..ur heartbeat can be felt on ur throat...palpitations risin..energy..!
Divine exhaustion.
all's electrifying!
i asked myself..."wat defines me?"
what do people feel like when they're near me??
surprisnigly..even when that guy dint talk a lot..there was this air around him..the sort of aura which is just individualistic..he dint tell me but i pegged that he was a philosophical sorta guy ..very indulgent..commiserative and altruistic!
so what defines me?
do the people around me define me? do i define them?
am i the kind of books i read? or the type of things i talk abt?
its been a recurring thought since quite some time now ...that y is so much that happens to em already there in a book? or shouldn't it be the other way round???
its like...someone somewhere has already experienced the stuff that i am going through..
its sometimes even haunting..for me
It's scary in the sense that it's somebody else's words and their story and how seamlessly it gets tied to mine.

has it ever happened to u that u are readin a piece of writing .like someones blog..a journal..a biography..or any book for that matter
and u feel..damn!! i feel da exact same way!
oh that happens to me so many times ..I've lost count!
one of the main reasons y i adore lance Armstrong is i genuinely relate with him..
every word he writes is straight outta my heart!
i really want him to write more...he's good at it.
people say u shud do wat ure good at...
i feel..shud we just pursue something for the sake of it..i sing well..shud i just be a singer cz I'm good at it.
evidently this is a useless topic.

sometimes i wonder lots of stuff that happens to me is not somethin i want but definitely something i can change.
right now..i lead a life which i'd rather not..is it because i've been dazed...or is it because i haven't been brave enough to battle out the odds?
i don't really want an answer.. i just wanna send this question into the void.

Pearls that swim the rift of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow I feel
For anything I feel
I'm not your rolling wheels
I'm a highway
Im not your carpet ride
I'm the sky


(again this song does it for me
not that i mind :) )

PS segolene royal lost..France is burnin..protest n riots et al..whats the purpose...u cant change it now..i really hope Hillary wins the US presidential elections..i really like her..I've read living history and again..i do identify with her..infact she inspires me so much..i can write a whole post on her..i might just.